


Corner Of The Forest

by ThrowMeAStory



Series: Once Upon A POV [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: 4x07, A Little Bit Of Snow Critisism, Brother-Sister Relationship, Companion Piece, Emotional, Emotional Baggage, F/M, Father-Daughter Relationship, Insecurity, Jealousy, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Mother-Son Relationship, POV Emma Swan, POV Female Character, POV First Person, Season/Series 04, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Doubt, Sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:33:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28978926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThrowMeAStory/pseuds/ThrowMeAStory
Summary: Companion to We Dream Together.
Relationships: Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan, Snow White | Mary Margaret Blanchard & Emma Swan
Series: Once Upon A POV [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2208855
Kudos: 8
Collections: Once Upon A POV





	Corner Of The Forest

**Author's Note:**

> AN: This is a companion piece to my oneshot We Dream Together. You don't have to read it to understand this. I don't hate Snow, I however do think that it might have been better character development for all the characters involved if at the end of season 5 they all sat down and let Emma lay out her problems, instead of making her magically forgive everyone for what could be perceived as feeling continuously replaced when she does something wrong. Just saying!!!

Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart."- Winnie The Pooh

Maybe I deserved this. After bringing Marian back. After ruining Regina's happy ending. Maybe I deserve to be alone.

I should have left for New York when I had the chance, at least then for once I might be the one to leave. Not then one to be left behind, to be looked at like I don't belong. If I had gone then everyone would be safe. If I'd gone then at I my family might still want me.

When I got back from mine and Hook's little Back To The Future adventure I'd finally thought that after nearly 30 years alone I might have found my family, parents that actually wanted me. I hoped that even with a new child that they'd still want me as part of their life. I loved that little baby boy just as much as they did, I'd happily give up everything so that he could stay with them. So that he could have a normal childhood, with his parents there to look after him.

He'd never know what it was like to be alone and unwanted. Or know what it's like to be cold and hungry. He's never struggle to make sense as to why his family abandoned him on the side of a road and never came back. He's have brand new toys and clothes and a last name.

I knew what it was like to be jealous of other people, of other kids. I felt it constantly when I was young, watching parents and grandparents dote over their children when they picked them up from school. Seeing families happy together when I was looking for somewhere dry to sleep as a teenager. Reading books and watching tv shows where the characters always had any sort of relationship with any type of guardian figure made me feel like I must have had something wrong with me.

I'd never felt replaced before I came to Storybrooke. Jealous, yes. Unwanted, yes. But never replaced.

However since being bought here by Henry, I'd felt it more times that I'd like to admit. Was it my fault that I'd struggled to bond with Snow? I understand that suddenly getting your memories back after 28 years and realising that the daughter you haven't seen since the day she was born had been living with you for the past couple of months, might have been a punch in the gut. But she also kinda knew what I was like when it came to showing emotion, it just wasn't me, especially given the very weird circumstances. 

Was it really my fault that she expected everything to just be unicorns and sunshine? At least David quickly figured out that it might take longer that 20 minutes for me to come round to the idea of being a fairytale princess. I really did try not to mess it up but it kinda fells like I'm trying to retrain a natural reflex. After 28 years of pushing people away, I couldn't just immediately let in 2 strangers and tell them every crappy detail of my life.

I don't know why I got on with David more that I did with Snow, I can't explain it. Maybe I was a daddy's girl. The banter just made it fell like building a relationship, not just being expected to have one with someone I'd spent a bit of time with. He knew not to push, that I'd come round in my own time.

But with Snow it was like she thought that I would just drop everything and be a different person, almost like she was waiting for ME to get MY memories back. Like just because I now have my parents all the trauma I'd received would just disappear. I still think she doesn't realise that what she said in the echo cave might have had some effect on our already non existent mother-daughter relationship. Because that's when the fear of being replaced started to become a constant worry.

Saying she wanted another baby because our relationship was not something she 'wanted' really rubbed me up the wrong way. I knew it didn't mean she didn't want ME, but it still upset me. Then coming back after being sent away again and seeing her almost 9 months pregnant made my heart drop. They mourned me for 3 months before just having another one, while being threatened with another curse that could separate them.

It like she never learns from her mistakes but likes to judge everyone for theirs.

After giving birth to Neal it was like she was to wrapped up in him to realise that I did need her and still do. When I found that folder, I would have loved to been able to go back to the loft and show her, it just felt like I didn't want to bother her. Is that my fault? But I knew if I tried to talk to her it would just be the same answers.

The same excuses. 

After all it might be normal in the Enchanted Forest to just ignore your children when their grown up, I didn't know and I didn't want to find out. Also to be honest, I was a bit busy saving everyone to ask. It had to be one of the weirdest introductions I've ever had to a person, being trapped with Elsa from Frozen in an ice cave. Talk about goddamn irony.

If i'd ever had to compare myself to a Disney princess, it would have never been Elsa. Maybe Rapunzel or even Mulan. The more we got to know each other it felt like I was talking to myself, weird right? Who would have thought that I'd be friends with one of the most famous cartoon characters ever?

Not me.

Not in a million years.

I was jolted out of my inner monologue when the Leaving Storybrooke sign caught my eye. After losing control and driving off, I only had one reaction. To run away and not come back. Drive to New York where I couldn't use my powers and stay there.

Pulling up to the town line, I stop the car and take a deep breath, something that I had need to do all day. The Dairy Queen's word still floating around my mind like one of Elsa's snowflakes. The image of the lamp landing on David's arm, after he's pushed Killian out of the way, was ingrained of the inside on my eyelids. What had I done?

It felt like it had been building all day, from Snow's reaction this morning to her shouting at me felt like a white blur. By the time we were in the interrogation room everything was just bubbling under the surface, waiting to explode. Her words lit the fire under the repressed feelings and it felt like releasing pent up anger. It felt relieving to let it out for once, until I saw the hole in the wall.

And that bought me back to my dilemma now. Stay and be a monster, the villain? Or go and maybe one day be able to salvage some kind of relationship with everyone I had just run away from? What do I do?

I was vaguely aware that my breathing was becoming erratic and my hands were shaking but I couldn't stop. Closing my eyes, all I could see was the look in Snow's eyes this morning, scared that I would harm my own brother. The same look she had in her eyes this afternoon, when I'd almost crushed my dad to death. Fear.

The sound of cracking wood broke me out of my state. Looking to my left, I could clearly see a massive crack appearing in the trunk of a tree that lined the border between the forest and the road. Without thinking, I turned the key and reversed my car so fast the I felt like I belonged in a Fast & Furious movie. Not a fairytale.

Driving away I heard the loud explosion of the tree as it shattered on it's impact with the tarmac. Spooked enough, I drove to the only place I knew no one would look for me. Turning the volume of the radio in the bug up so it would drown out any other thoughts I had till I got to where I was going. Arriving just after dark, I parked my car on the edge of the forest the overlooked the town.

Knowing I'd stay here for the night, I sunk into my seat as I pulled my jacket tighter around me. The energy from using that amount of magic left my hands warm but the rest of me cold. Falling further into my self pitying state I reached for my cell and let my finger hover over the number 2, knowing if i pressed the call button I would connect me to him. Killian.

He'd ask where I was and probably wouldn't stop asking till I told him and in the state I was in, I would tell him. He was persistent like that. Pressing the power button on the side on my cell till it went off, I threw in on the passenger seat. He might not want to talk to me, I had almost killed him for god's sake.

Feeling myself calming down at the thought of my one handed pirate.I let my thoughts trail back to our kiss sitting outside Granny's. Looking back it was kinda surreal about how scared I was to let him in after that. My heart tingled beyond belief remembering our second kiss in the middle of the road, not the best of places but his words struck me in the best way possible. It made me realise I wasn't fully alone anymore.

Yeah, all this sucked, but it would have been a thousand times worse if I hadn't had him or Henry.

The warmth from my hands had now faded and my eyes were starting to fill with water. As tears started to slip down my cheeks and my nose started to run, I couldn't help but think that it had felt good. Those initial releases of power made my whole body feel lighter. Like after I used to kickbox, the feeling of the punches hitting the bag made the fog in both my head and heart start to evaporate.

That was the last thought before I passed out from exhaustion.

"You can't stay in your corner of the forest, waiting for others to come to you. You have to go the them sometimes."- Winnie The Pooh


End file.
